Dead-heading the flowers

so that more energy will go into the new flowers…that’s what I spend my early mornings doing when I can. I take a cup of coffee with me (has to have real half-n-half in it!) and the cats are out following me, sniffing the flowers, rubbing their chins on the my lone and dying cactus plant.

I usually get up early and go to a meeting. But lately, I have indulged in my love of slowing waking up.

The first I do when I get up, is feed the cats – no, pamper and pet them or play with them. I need to pray but sometimes I forget until after the girls are taken care of. What does that say about me?? I think we all know. So I feed them. They sit as I put their collars with name tags and my cell number on them. And then they go out onto my deck. My older cat goes slowly out the door, aggravating the younger one, who would just jump out into the new world. Because when I watch them, it seems like it is new every day to them.

I have a wind chime a friend gave me that has a glass ball in the middle that rotates colors when it’s evening until the wee, dark hours in the morning. It’s solar power (along with a rechargeable battery). When I discovered that the ball was still rotating colors in the darkness of morning, I got a cuppa and sat out on the deck to meditate on the changing colors. It doesn’t hold my interest long enough to meditate so I usually end up going down the steps to the grass and the little 6×6 raised garden I put in after my first work layoff.

I watch the cats sniff their new world and wait for a little bit of light to dead-head my flowers by. It’s a necessary pruning in the cycle of natural life.

And, that makes me think about my own “pruning” process. Some of which, was very painful. Some of it full of an awakening awe and acceptance of my truth. All of it a necessary path I must travel – but not alone unless I choose to be alone.

And I have chosen to be alone more often than not. But that comfortable habit is going to have to go under the pruning knife as well. Because I have spent too much of my time and mind looking back over my decisions – were they right? if they were, how come I’m still alone? – as if this would enhance my current day or life.

How come? Because I chose it, that’s how come. Why come? Because I was graced with God’s Will and healing. No doubt about that.

Now, what do I do from here? As I discover that, I’ll get back to you.